erics*

NYEpast2

2012-01-03T00:18:00.001-05:00

A huge sigh of relief.
And just like that, the chapter has finally closed.
All the demons, all the pagan ideals have ended.
I can stop chasing the shadows which taunt me,
I can walk head high and not worry who follows,
I know better and will do better.
I no longer feel chained to its past,
and have a clearer understanding for what's to come.
I can rejoice in this truth because I've been shown better.
Bring me to the light, my eyes will manage,
Lead me to that path, where all is rightly granted.
I'll DO more, I'll BE more,
no more holding back in fear.
Thank you for revealing yourself to me.

drice

2011-07-02T23:59:00.002-04:00

"So why'd you sing Hallelujah,
if it means nothing to ya,
So why'd you sing with me at all?"

This cover is long overdue.

But everytime I start it, I can never get through it...
...it holds true to how others have hurt me, time and time again.

nohollerback

2010-11-26T12:04:00.002-05:00

Sometimes you have to be so humbled,
so broken, so weak, before you can fully comprehend the true meaning of rejoice again.

Ff

2010-08-20T19:20:00.002-04:00

If only I could forgive you as fast as you have forgotten me.

hurdle

2010-07-19T23:39:00.002-04:00

It's always a struggle to get over that hurdle,
even if you want to cheat and crawl under,
you know you never made it through.

I don't know how one's suppose to get over it,
when it faces you everyday and greets you with a smile,
wanting the attention to be dealt with.

I've always managed to run away with it, finding other hurdles along the way,
none that could ever compare to the depth of difficulty,
and yet somehow I end up running in a circle, faced with the exact same hurdle.

So my question is, do I deal with it, or is my action-plan selfish and unproductive?
Am I really finding closure by confronting it, or am I playing with devil's fire?

howsoonhownow

2010-07-09T14:52:00.000-04:00

How soon one can be forgotten,
as if everything in the recent past meant nothing.

wallsibuild

2010-06-20T20:48:00.003-04:00

Have you ever been robbed of your reality? Where everything you thought to have been was just taken by the choice of another? This is why my walls grow taller.

walls

2010-05-13T01:22:00.004-04:00

The walls I build, are never strong enough to stand.
So the question is, why do I bother?

What is more unveiling: truths or pain?
And why is the conclusion always the same?

patrickwatson

2010-04-23T00:51:00.001-04:00

I knew a boy that was swallowed by the sky
By the flashing lights
I knew a man that got lost in the big dull blue
And came out alive

I knew a boy, I knew a man
Who looked a lot like you

I knew a time you could still stand and sigh
But the rushing by
I knew a place you can go where your head could explode
Into peace of mind

I knew a time, I knew a place
That felt a lot like you
I knew a boy, I knew a man
Who looked a lot like you

Just like you

I knew a friend that would hold on to the flames
Keep them from burning you
I knew a smile
I could see through all of the stars
That the world had thrown

I knew a smile, I knew a friend
That looked a lot like you
I knew a boy, I knew a man
Who looked a lot like you

guilt

2010-02-14T22:55:00.003-05:00

I read the words as if they were fresh,
not intended to be revealed to me,
and I lose myself envisioning the moment your wrote the painful poetry.
Heavy burden lies upon my left chest as I'm moved by your unraveling thoughts.
I want so much to tell you of the many things I have seen and lived,
but more importantly how much I think of you and why I chose the path I did.

If only the silence could be broken and one would call.

spontaneity

2010-02-09T18:42:00.002-05:00

Spontaneity

I realized today, that my whole adolescent life (granted, it's not done yet, God willing) has been based on spontaneity. Despite how meticulous I can be, and how freaking organized I am, things don't go as planned. Opportunities and amazing things come from far left field and hit me when least expected. Perhaps, that is what I have to be thankful for. His timing is humorous, almost never pushing me to the limit and always manageable, and I am grateful for the strength to press onwards.

My doubt is my fear and my fear is my doubt. With that aside and the determination that He will provide and I will prevail all obstacles under His care, I have to believe that what I am doing is right. It's too easy to quit now. I can always get the white picket fence and 2.5 kids later, right? Then again, I never wanted those things to begin with.

December was an all time low. I was discourage beyond belief and my situation was not the kind which was cut throat and a quick shove to the exit door. I didn't get into anything despite the connections and how hard I tried. And even worse, no one told me what I was doing wrong. No one told me to stop either. So I was stuck in the middle of road questioning what to do with my life.

Then January comes along, and one after one, things start to pop up and income is secured. I'm still living paycheck-to-paycheck but I'm thankful I have no debts! And sure enough the big kicker comes along today. I was granted to go to the UK on a $5,000 grant. Something I DID NOT apply for; merely given. I was already given this award in Dec '08 when I went to NYC (for the first time in 15 years) so this was COMPLETELY unexpected. I don't even know where to begin but I am overwhelmed with joy. God is good, all the time.

audthots

2010-01-03T22:43:00.005-05:00

aud.thoughts.

Alas, doors open, and doors close. But it's never been shut.

It was too easy for me to give up and take a life of missions but I see the light to a brighter future, and though I may be living paycheck-to-paycheck, it's still a paycheck. And I'm forever thankful.

I have a huge audition tomorrow. One I did not apply for. If all goes well, the result is huge. As in, my first 5-figured paycheck. He really has interesting timing. I wonder why He's been so gracious. Sometimes I want to forfeit the whole ordeal and see what pans out. It is abuse? You betcha. And does He deserve it? No. I should... one should never depend on miracles. But I like playing with fire to see what the consequences are.

Anyway. I've grown. I've conquered. But it's this constant battle of how bad I want it. Maybe I'm in denial. Just like the potential 'interests' in my life. Always in denial. And that's another thing that holds me back. No one wants the black sheep. The undecided profession. The girl who 'sings' for a living. If they do, it's not genuine and/or completely temporary. Besides, I'm too much of a prude for those games. Will I ever know? Will I ever meet him? God only knows what I'd be without you.

impatient

2009-11-28T23:36:00.002-05:00

I'm growing impatient.
I'd really like to know what city I should be in come next year. Gah.
I still don't know where I stand with my choices. But regardless of situation, in the end, my love for T.O. never fails.

On a random note:
It still stings where it shouldn't hurt.

strangers

2009-11-20T19:13:00.002-05:00

Sometimes I wonder why I treat strangers better than the people I am faced with daily.

And I don't do it for a better lasting outcome. Adding to the list is the last thing I want. But maybe it's because I know it's temporary and it will affect someone without any commitment. Hrm.

what to do

2009-10-27T20:01:00.002-04:00

For those who know me,
I'm struggling big time.

It's those times when you sit still, and wait upon an answer,
and feel like nothing but silence surrounds you,
and the silence isn't sufficient enough to find a focus - a certain voice,
to give a vision, and path, some glimmer of a sign.

It's the most difficult thing, having to wait upon Him and get an answer.
I have some of the biggest decisions of my life to make,
and I know not what to do.

I'd rather be in pain or strife, than to ping-pong the doubt and uncertainty that lingers in my mind. "Trust in the Lord, and lean not on your own understanding." I need to learn to stay still. Something tells me silence isn't enough. Say a prayer for me if you realize what I'm going through. Thx.

kleh in strat

2009-09-09T10:31:00.000-04:00

This is K & I's version of "COOL".
Thumbs up, WAY UP for WSS in Stratford btw.

shuling

2009-09-09T00:34:00.000-04:00

helped out a friend with a song he beautifully wrote for his thesis.

cheers.

JGL

2009-07-14T00:36:00.002-04:00

CAN I JUST SAY.. and I realized this myself when I starred at my 1975 TV as I worked out, watching a commercial for 500 Days of Summer,

THAT JOSEPH GORDON LEVITT looks EXACTLY like HEATH LEDGER.

I couldn't be MORE on cloud 9 right now. That movie looks great. And what a soundtrack. I'm excited more than ever.

I can't get over how much Joseph has grown since 3rd Rock from the Sun.

Wow.

Amazing.

forgiveness

2009-07-13T16:36:00.002-04:00

"I say I'm forgiving, but perhaps I haven't forgiven myself."

Excerpt taken from dating woes, June 2009.

secretwish

2009-05-11T22:12:00.003-04:00

I feel like my life is complete.
After searching for almost a year,
I finally found my scent. My fragrance.
The smell that defines me.

ANNA SUI.
Secret Wish.

If only I had hundreds of dollars so I could bathe myself in the beautiful aroma.

death

2009-04-10T22:00:00.002-04:00

I woke up this morning with terror in my eyes.

You know how people say when you dream of death, you come close but you never actually die? You fall off a building or bridge, which transitions into a swimming pool. You see the knife geared towards your torso and you clinch but you still continue to live in another scene.

Well, that didn't happen this time. And boy, was death on the mind. What's scarier was that I was willing to take my own life. It was completely by choice. I thought of various options, (and I care not to through divuldge into those details)... but then it happened. How odd.

After I came back from service tonight, it dawned on me that perhaps that death I was envisioning wasn't mine but that of Christ's. Hrm... perhaps symbolic?

*Shudder* I'm quite baffled but I don't think it helps to look into it further.

I'm frankly quite happy to be alive and saved through Him. I really can't count my blessings.

popples

2009-03-17T22:57:00.003-04:00

So I was looking through some photos and found shots taken of what was lost in a terrible flooding accident that affected my basement when I was away in Germany a few years ago. My heart almost skipped a beat when I thought I saw in the plastic bag of piled of stuffed animals, my dearly beloved popple friend, PRIZE POPPLE. I ran down to the basement and retrieved her from my stuffed animal collection (that I've put in hiding since my current monkeys have taken over my bedroom).

Whilst cleaning my Prize Popple, the thought came to me: GO SEARCH it on UTUBE.

Low and behold, there are multiple vids. It was hard for me to find that hot-pink, white-haired PRIZE and then I found this commercial of the one my brother and I BOTH had! His blue one, named 'PC' seemed quite popular (as he existed in almost all of the POPPLES episodes but I was so thrilled to see them both.

And those kids are a bonus. So cute. That blonde girl is such a brat. Exactly depicts how I probably was like to my brother. haha

We both got ours in 1986, and the collection grew as we got older (we even had the pocket-sized popples), but I loved PRIZE the most. She's travelled all over the world with me, and her last trip was in Deutschland in 2003. Mind you, she looks NOTHING like the above photo, but it's only because she was soooo loved.

WHICH POPPLE DID YOU HAVE? I think only early 80's kids were down with this popples trend. They seriously need to bring 'em back.

latenight

2009-03-07T01:25:00.002-05:00

i miss c-o-n-a-n. it's not nearly the same. jF needs to find a new job.
i actually don't mind "chelsea lately". women of that nature crack me up. even if the jokes the guests make are scripted the flow of that show is still cool beans.

obrien better hurry. i need my night-time comedy before bed.

blahblahblah

2009-02-27T21:09:00.004-05:00

Here's my two cents on mockery.

No one should make negative comment or mock someone for something they cannot change. If someone wants to mock my weight or my flabby arms - go right ahead! Because that's my fault for being heavy with 'oprah' arms and with time, I can change. (Note: no one has made comment on either of the two mentioned directly or indirectly to me). But if you want to comment on my huge head or how big my eyes are and how unasianize they are in a mocking manner - that's just freaking uncalled for and racist. WHY? Because I cannot change those things. Have you ever heard of a head-reduction? Right. That's because they don't exist. So how constructive is commenting on it negatively in the first place?

Someone has bad character? Go right ahead. Yes, comment on that. Maybe they'll learn from it.

Someone is a terrible actor and moves like a limp hippo on stage? Yes, please. Comment. Humour my world, will ya? Because essentially an actor can learn to develope tools and be a better. He can CHANGE.

But don't bully your way into ridiculous comments on things I cannot change.

Oh, and btw: if I didn't initiate the 'asian' jokes, that gives one no right to start up a "chink" converstaion. You ever tried to start up the n-word with an African? My point, exactly.

GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh.

I have more to say but for those who really know me, you know I'm typing this with a Brooklyn smile.
I'm not cussing, I'm not vexed. --I jus be sayin'--

foxlilly

2009-02-18T23:04:00.005-05:00

GORGEOUS. If only these were engagement photos. I heart these two and the show LOST.

2009-01-09T16:26:00.002-05:00

Tinnitus

I think I have it. It's this constant metallic ringing pitch on F4/F5 circulating on Major 3rd. It's always there, in my sleep, while I watch TV; from the solitary moments alone to over dinner conversations. I'm thankful it's not prominent in what I hear - a la, when I have rehearsals the ringing has been forgotten. But I have taken for granted the sound of peace. LITERALLY. *sigh*

I pray the day I wake in the morning, I hear nothing but air. NO PITCHES! gah.

hope's nY

2008-12-30T00:25:00.003-05:00

I just got back from NYC and this simple song puts how I feel about it in a nutshell.

Leave Me In New York by Hope

See the light shine on the city, it’s morning now
There couldn’t be any more beauty in any other town
You’re dancing lights and endless nights
Everybody knows you never sleep
But you’re still beautiful to me
They say that if you make it here you make it anywhere
It’s gotta be the truth cause I’m not going anywhere
So leave me in New York, New York

Lady Liberty, you’re my shining star
I’m meet you in the garden after dark
And tell me all the stories
and how we got our freedom
And tell me how America was born
They say that if you make it here you make it anywhere
It’s gotta be the truth cause I’m not going anywhere
So leave me in New York, New York

They say that if you make it here you make it anywhere
It’s gotta be the truth cause I’m not going anywhere
Your dancing lights thrill me
And your endless nights amuse me
You’re still beautiful to me,
You’re still beautiful to me,
New York.

*sigh* I already miss it. Watch out NY, I'll be back!

tourtrip

2008-12-07T07:14:00.002-05:00

I'm off to complete my ultimate dream!

Pls pray for:
1. Safety. I don't feel safe in *that* city.
2. General belongings of my things. Once again, safety.
3. Longevity of my digital camera. It's acting up and I want nothing more than for it to last me the end of this year. I'm prepared to go DSLR but not just yet.
4. That my eyes are opened to what possibilities this city may hold for my future.
5. All goes smoothly in air and landing. I'm not a fan of planes.

See you in a couple weeks!
I'll keep you posted.

intherain

2008-11-29T15:21:00.002-05:00

It was a cold and rainy night,
I was walking east towards a high traffic intersection.
Usually I'd wear my phones and blare Radiohead,
but the business of the streets kept me preoccupied.
"Excuse me! Excuse me!" - Not yelled, just spoken out loud.
No taps on the shoulder but I could hear the gentle voice become louder in my right ear.
I turned. Gestured a head up with wide eyes.
"I just wanted to tell you.... I think you're really cute."
I didn't blush, I didn't budge. I meticulously read his face thinking I was being punk'd. My silence caused him to speak further.
"I saw you cross the street and just had to tell you."
I mildly smiled. "Well, thanks." And I immediately marched on forward towards the subway.

Having thought about it afterwards, there was so much I wanted to ask this man. I clearly wasn't interested (because I'm shallow, he was a hair too short for me. I have a 6 feet rule) but as I evaluate further, there was absolutely nothing wrong with him. He was undoubtedly, very good looking and didn't give off a stalker-creep vibe. But I wanted to know if he spoke to strangers he was attracted to by habit and if there was a purpose in him doing so. Most people would have scoffed and told him to piss off but I had the feeling he just did it because he wanted women to feel good about themselves. He didn't ask for a phone number or tried to start something; he just wanted to pass on his honesty. Does that sound stupid?

If I wasn't in such a rush I probably would have asked for a name and understand his intentions of this random act, but definitely wouldn't have surrendered my #.

Why are women so skeptical of men? I know I am too often. Maybe this is something I need to change. Be less hard and more openly attentive.

undeserving

2008-10-27T20:35:00.002-04:00

I am so undeserving of it all.

Why do good things continue to happen to me? I don't even ask for it, and it still happens for the betterment of everything. Do you ever feel that way?

I'm frankly baffled because I feel like I have done nothing different to deserve the rewards that have come my way. I live my busy life sometimes without even thinking - I forget to reflect, I fail to whisper his name - and yet, the good things come when least expected.

I almost feel... guilt. But in all honesty, that's not to say that I'm going to change things. Right now, my theme is HECTICNESS. I barely have a moment to just observe and breathe. I fear this is the life I will eventually live. Go, go, go. Sing, sing, sing. Go, go, go. Gig, gig, gig. And it's not for the sake of security and money. I do it because it's all I know; it's how I maintain sanity.

compens

2008-10-05T21:17:00.002-04:00

"You're a giver on stage."

Quite possibly the most generous thing said to me by an opera colleague.
__________

He said it nonchalantly, and I didn't analyze too deep into it until he further explained. "There are givers, and then there are those who suck everything out of you. It's the givers that make this industry all the more worth it." It was like a relevation hit me. I couldn't agree with him more. It's worth doing what I do as a performer if it means working with 'givers'. I'm so incredibly blessed to have an amazing roster of colleagues in my year where I completely feel that they are 'givers' because to share the stage with them is PRICELESS. There's a chemistry, a bond, an effortless flow of action that no schooling can provide. I really feel so lucky. Once again, PG and His works.

osm?

2008-09-29T02:52:00.003-04:00

I have exactly 24 hours to make a decision that could potentially change my life.
I am going insane because I can't decide what to do.
This competition that I'm considering with stakes so incredibly high, makes me worried because I'm not sure I have the validation to get pass first round. I wish He would make his sign more clear to me because I'm leaning towards not doing something and I feel this terrible fear of regret.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhh

And if I choose to NOT move and NOT do anything, well, then I pretty much remain the same (and possibly sane again) but will wonder if I made a poor choice.

And if I submit my application in, I will have to just wait and see and let my pride down and wait for the results. I also become more poor this way investing more coin into it. But if all goes well, the coin will be more than doubled and it could be a very rewarding thing. But I'm not in it for the money. I'm just dying to sing for some HUGE names.

I won a competition last year, but can I do it again? Hrm....

But on a completely different note; I'M GOING TO NYC! My school has rewarded me for my hardwork and is sending me to NYC before the holidays to indulge in opera culture with THREE MET SHOWS, complete with accomodations, food, ANNNNND pocket money! OVERJOYED AS YOU CAN IMAGINE. GOD IS SOOO GRACIOUS.

selfvid

2008-09-19T03:01:00.003-04:00

When you're on public transit and you've got tunes poppin' in your ears,
don't you ever have the urge to just lipsync and pretend you're in your very own music video?

I do that all the time. I don't close my eyes, I don't even directly look at anyone. I mouth the words to the tunes and figure I'm on the spotlight. No shame. I do it.

But then the other day on the subway, when my tunes ran out of batteries and I was forced to join the forces of silence, there was an asian girl about my age who had her tunes poppin' in her ears. She and I exchanged glances a few times and she gave an impression of subtle grace and pleasant introvertedness. 15 minutes into the subway ride, to my dismay, she started going 'buck' and lipsynced her lyrics to some upbeat tempo pop song - frankly, it looked ridiculous. She never opened her eyes, and made facial gestures as if she were rocking it out as frontman in a heavy metal band.

After that day, I stopped lipsyncing on the subway. I realize I may be causing some of my fellow transit commuters visual pain and its probabaly best to leave those 'lipsyncing music video moments' for the shower.

domo@target

2008-09-14T19:20:00.002-04:00

this is why i wished we had Target in Kanada.

or maybe i wish i had an american boyfriend so he'd collect them all and ship 'em over to me. DOMOKUN!

whos gonna save?

2008-08-25T12:23:00.000-04:00

I'm big on Jorma Taccone (the one who stabs himself) in this well thought out music video. Kudos to Aasha Davis, too but I really loved the way Jorma delivered. This video is a depiction of how I view things, even in my own relationships. Sometimes I think I have the mindset of a guy.

gravity

2008-08-24T22:04:00.002-04:00

Something always brings me back to you
It never takes too long
No matter what I say or do
I'll still feel you here 'til the moment I'm gone

You hold me without touch
You keep me without chains
I never wanted anything so much
than to drown in your love and not feel your rain

Set me free, leave me be
I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity
Here I am and I stand so tall,
just the way I'm supposed to be
But you're on to me and all over me

You loved me 'cause I'm fragile
When I thought that I was strong
But you touch me for a little while
and all my fragile strength is gone.

I live here on my knees as I try to make you see
that you're everything I think I need here on
The ground
But you're neither friend nor foe though I can't seem to let you go
The one thing that I still know is that you're keeping me down
...You're on to me on to me and all over

Something always brings me back to you
it never takes too long ...

sara bareilles's gravity

battlingpast

2008-08-21T12:50:00.006-04:00

opentoit.

i shutted the door pretty tight
with just enough of an opening so i could still tweak a sight of you
and i swore i'd never cave,
never throw my vulnerable self into arms that would crumble
you made me believe that giving was the worst of all crimes
forcing this bitter heart of mine - because all i wanted, was give into you
the more i gave, the more i bled,
too forgiving, too naive,
the biggest of hearts turned to stone,
and i let it grow cold.

but after much turmoil, my body chose to rebel
i realize i wasn't built for the cold
i would never survive.
i was made to love, made to open that door.
now i puzzle at the crack in the door and wonder why i struggle to just open it.
its not even locked and i still hesitate...
maybe its not a matter of allowing you in, but you letting me in.

so will you?
are you open to it?

randomrant

2008-08-20T10:29:00.005-04:00

I ripped out the red like it was everything I had,
scrambled the pieces for everything that was said,
eyes glistened, and lips said nothing,
but I knew it would be the last, I just knew.

The harshest of feelings, the strongest of woes,
and still you patronize me with these random quotes.
Your poetry spoke to me, I still hold them dear,
but it will never bring us back to the event of our year.

BNL

2008-07-11T13:41:00.002-04:00

Revisiting old tunes and bands I cherish in the jr high days.
I came upon the BNL's "Born on a Pirate Ship". (ha, I still remember being taught that phrase when I was a ripe age of 7 by my reading buddy. ha.)

It's not so much the lyrics I love but the story telling front man Steven does with this ballad; its the rip-out-my-heart-out-of-my-chest feeling. I think I would want to cover this but it's much harder for a female vocalist than a male.

"Break Your Heart"

The bravest thing I've ever done
Was to run away and hide
But not this time, not this time
And the weakest thing I've ever done
Was to stay right by your side
Just like this time, and every time
I couldn't tell you I was happy when you were gone
So I lied and said that I missed you when we were apart
I couldn't tell you, so I had to lead you on
But I didn't mean to break your heart

And if I always seem distracted
Like my minds somewhere else
That's because it's true, yes it's true
it's this stupid pride that makes me feel
Like I have to follow through
Even half-assedly, loving you
Why must I always speak in terms of cowardice?
When I guess I should have just come out and told you right from the start
Why must I always tell you all I want is this?
I guess 'cause I didn't want to break your heart

And you said
What'd you think that I was gonna do,
Curl up and die just because of you?
I'm not that weak, you know
What'd you think that I was gonna do,
Try to make you love me as much as I love you?
How could you be so low?
You arrogant man,
What do you think that I am?
My heart will be fine
Just stop wasting my time

And now I'm over you, I'll be OK,
and that I've got what I want,
and that's rid of you
Bye
And it's not 'cause I'll be missing you
That makes me fall apart
It's just that I didn't mean to break
No I didn't mean to break
No I didn't mean to break
Your heart

heyocean

2008-06-26T12:21:00.001-04:00

if i could sum everything i want for a music video, if i could just be someone else for an hour it would be leads in heyocean. amazing band. dig the sound, dig the vocals.

check out their myspace.
pretty flipping amazing.

inspiration

2008-06-10T19:08:00.004-04:00

naughtymonkey

2008-06-09T19:19:00.002-04:00

Naturally, a Naughty Monkey for a monkey!

I'm crazy about these "Naughty Monkey" shoes and it made my DAY when I discovered them in a local shop (will remain unnamed) a few months ago. But every time I went, my size would be taken. (There must be another *me* out there) BUT NOT TODAY!! :D I got my first pair (The FEVER sandal in Black/White) and I simply cannot take them off. They are definitely outrageous and most would think twice about picking a pair like mine up but fashion faux pas or not, I want shoes with creativity and this product has that! And don't let the heel scare you! They're actually QUITE comfortable!

I want these pretty badly!

The first pair of NMs I ever laid eyes on (Closet Jigsaw):

HULLLLO LOVAHHHH:

Mmmmmmm:

opdipgrad

2008-05-10T21:01:00.004-04:00

Opera Diploma Recital Success!

THANK YOU TO ALL WHO SENT THEIR LOVE AND SUPPORT, and a special THANK YOU to those who went out of their way (even took off work!) to come watch the show!!! G'bye Laurier! Hello world!

thxtim

2008-04-27T22:39:00.001-04:00

DOMO IS HERE!

I screamed like a little girl today.

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!

bobby_mono

2008-04-22T14:17:00.008-04:00

I just finished watching BOBBY (2006). Excellent film. There's one scene that I loved so much, I actually took the time to write it out. That Fishbourne is sheer brilliance. Please excuse the language and profanity.
__________

Head Chef Edward (Lawrence Fishbourne), Miguel (Jacob Vargas) and Jose (Freddy Rodriguez) are having lunch break together in the kitchen of the Ambassador Hotel (where Robert Kennedy was assassinated. Written by Emilio Estevez.

Miguel: Chef’s Special, Edward?
Edward: Miguel, you know if I could, I would.
M: Bullshit, man. I see you serving the brothers the good stuff. White folks, too. You don’t see them eating this dog food.
E: Lord, today. Do we have to do this every day, Miguel?
M: Every day you keep putting the brown man down, Edward.
E: (Edward chuckles)
M: Keeping the brown man down.
E: I’m putting the brown man down. That’s right. Let’s keep the brown man down. Let’s send the brown man back across the border to his sweet senoritas and his refried beans.
(laughter amongst the crew who are also eating)
M: First of all, we didn’t cross the border. The border crossed us. And our senoritas are better than your fried-chicken-eating mama with the big backyard.
(men oohing)
E: Hey, you smell that? Look at that – my very own special berry cobbler, fresh out of the oven. But since you had to put my mama in it, excuse me… Here you go, Jose, enjoy.

Jose: (chuckles, accepts the cobbler)
Miguel: Come on, man.
Edward: (mocking) “Come on, man.”
(laughter amongst the crew)
E: You Mexican boys can’t play the dozens. I don’t know why you keep on, Miguel.
Jose: Yeah, man.
M: Man, what do you know about the dozen?
Jose: I know that I got some cobbler and you don’t.
(laughter)
M: You’re a sellout, man.
J: You know.
E: Hey. It’s good ain’t it, Jose?
J: Mm-hmm.
E: That recipe was handed down by my great-grandmother. Mmm….
M: Hey, let me have some of that. Come on, brother.
E: We ain’t brothers, amigo.
(laughter)
M: And we ain’t amigos, “bruh-thuh.”
(laughter)
E: Go ahead.
M: (bites into cobbler) Mmm…
J: (to Edward) You uh… working a double shift like the rest of us?
E: I most certainly am not.
M: You must be the only one.
E: Yeah, and you know why?
J: Why?
E: Too good-looking for that mess.
(laughter)
M: You ain’t work a double, ‘cause whitey’s afraid of your black ass, man.
E: (laughs)
M: They’re afraid you’re gonna go all Huey Newton on them, all violent. See, they ain’t afraid of us yet, Jose. Not yet, man, but one day, one day they will be, man. We’re gonna get the respect that we deserve. We’re gonna take back California, take back our land, man.

Edward: I want you to park that anger in my kitchen, young man.
Miguel: I want you to get your hand off my shoulder, Negro.
(kitchen crew men oohing)
E: All right, keep it up. See, the first few times I tried to make this dessert, couldn’t get it right. Too much sugar one time, not enough sugar the next time, couldn’t find the balance. I realized I was forcing it. You know, trying to make it taste like my mama’s or her mama’s. Mine didn’t have any poetry, didn’t have any light. And then I realized I was trying to force it, to taste like my mother’s, taste like her mother’s. See, it has to be Edward’s creation. It had to come from me. Now, you, Miguel, you’ve got… shit to offer. You’ve got no poetry. You’ve got no light. You’ve got no one looking at you and saying, “Damn. Look at that Miguel. I want some of what he’s got.” All you got is your anger.
M: I ain’t angry.
E: I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you. Come on, speak up.
M: (shouts out) I said I’m not angry!
(men murmuring)
E: All right. (chuckles) You know, I used to be just like you. I had anger. And then, after Dr. King was killed…well, anger like you can’t even imagine. White folks ain’t trying to keep you down, Miguel. White folks just don’t like to be pushed into a corner. They’ll come around. You just got to make it look like it was their idea, like they’re the ones that thought of it. They need to feel like they’re the great emancipators; like it was theirs to give in the first place. Let ‘em have it. I mean, if that’s all it takes, let them have it. Can you dig it? I know my man Jose can dig it, can’t you?
Jose: Yeah
E: Mm-hmm.

Daryl Timmons (their boss, played by Christian Slater): Edward. Is that you famous cobbler I’m smelling down in my office?
Edward: Yes, sir, Mr. Timmons. I just pulled a fresh batch out of the oven. I’ll make sure some gets to your office directly, sir.
M: (mockingly) “I’ll get some sent to your office directly, sir.”
(crew laughs)
M: Step-and-fetch-it motherfucker.
(Edward takes away Miguel’s cobbler)
M: Hey….
E: I’m not working a double shift today, though, am I… amigo?
(scattered “oohs”)
__________

Now if you read it all, now you oughta WATCH it all in a clip under 5 minutes. God bless you-tube. CLICK HERE.

flush much?

2008-04-14T14:56:00.003-04:00

Who's afraid of the big bad flush?

I'm a frequent visitor of public washrooms. Ever since I perfected the squat a couple years ago, I'm not afraid to use the loo. But on most ocasions, I've encountered public washroom visits with children by coincidence. Now here's my mind-bogging question: WHY DON'T CHILDREN FLUSH?

I hypothesized some ideas. Perhaps when it's just pee, they think it's harmless. Perhaps they live with "Earth-saving" parents who promote the "minimal flush action". Fine. I can live with that. But let's be frank here. If I see a toilet full of urine and it's the only toilet available for me to use, I'm GONNA FLUSH it anyway. I know most women do. So why let the urination of bacteria sit in the toilet? NOT COOL.

Number Twos are EVEN worse. THERE IS NO EXPLAINATION for why dumps need to be made known and left unattended. NO REASON. And I've heard droppings made adjacent to me, with a quick zip-up and a running child out of the stall. And they didn't even bother to wash their hands. Most people, who don't flush don't wash their hands.

So during my visit at *un-named restaurant* (but it's not Asian, and I go there A LOT) an 11 year old girl walks in the same time as I. Once again, she pees and runs out. I wanted to scold her. WHAT'S SO BAD ABOUT FLUSHING? You don't even have to use your hands! Just kick the stick! It's not so much scolding I wanted to do, but I just wanted to ask her. What's the sin in flushing?

It makes sense to have automatic-flushing censoring-devices but just yesterday, during one of my visits to a beautiful restroom in Ben Thahn Cambridge, a little girl was cutely complaining about the automatic-flush because she wasn't done yet and it flushed her tush three times on her.

My conclusion: SAVE THE EARTH by saving water and NOT resorting to automatic flushing devices. If we taught proper flushing, then maybe children would flush more appropriately! Heck, do they need to make a Pixar movie about it with the main character as Mr. Flush, the Friendly Flusher?

What's your reasoning for why children fail to flush?

kabamod

2008-03-30T18:22:00.002-04:00

love it love it love it. love it ALL. this is my fav routine from my current favourite show, ABDC. obviously, it's nothing in comparison to what the title-winners Jabbahabawockahees... or whatever they're called (still praise them, I just don't get their name) but what Kaba does makes me laugh. Gotta love cool hip hop dancers who can act like complete nerds.

i've got to hand it to yuri. she is really beautiful. it's not so much about her looks, but the fact that she can dance so well and smooth scores her HUGE points with me.

Y.Tag with Host, Mario L.

composer

2008-03-21T01:33:00.005-04:00

Huge News

I can't give too many details but will generalize this post with as much vagueness. (I am aware that I am googlable)

Basically, I did my thing for a very important audition. Considering the path I've been through, with this mindset of being a solo classical singer, I'm a big nobody. I may be born and raised in 'THE' city but there's no affiliation to my name...yet.

I impressed two very well respected names (who are based in Toronto but definitely highly regarded world wide). I went in with the intentions to sing a small role: 1 of 3 to be exact, I could only be the 3rd since it's written for my low voice type. Realistically, I know what the stakes are in city, so if I was offered the part I had my eye on, I would have been thrilled and ecstatic.

Well, long story short: I almost didn't sing for this panel and I was incredibly crushed. It wasn't so much about being a part of the opera production but I just wanted to sing for these two VIPS. I couldn't find them. I had to give up. All that work and money, applying and working with my wonderful accompanist - it was all put to and end and I was devastated. Over dinner and drinks with a friend hours later, I receive a call. There was an opening to sing the audition right then and there. It was 10:10PM. I threw a bill down and left my friend stranded with her burger and beer, and ran my butt back down to the audition place.

Completely out of breath and beyond stress levels I could not comprehend, I went in there as if nothing happened (and there is much more to this story but like I said, it's suppose to be VAGUE) and introduced myself as I quickly pulled myself together. Open the mouth and there it was. I took on that room as if it were mine and enveloped it with my sound. I impressed the heck out of this precious panel. They were very interested and made me wail Bb-C's to check range. Why? Because they were considering me for lead role. *HOLY HELEN MOTHER OF PEARL* *&^@#$ I needed someone to pinch me.

Six days later, a personal call comes in from the panel. It's confirmed. They want me to do leads. I shanted my pants. And there's no gambling where these two come from. It's one thing to be desperate and in need of people to fill places but they would not take me on if they didn't think I could do it. I was so humbled by it all - I frankly didn't know what to say. To think, a big nobody like me was given a chance to break through onto the stages in the city.

So that's my big news. The production is due for the summer so I have a lot, a LOT, A LOT of work to do. Seriously, I can only draw up one conclusion. I'm not lucky. I'm incredibly driven by His work and what He does. If this is what I'm meant to do, then so be it. I will dip my feet in.

wpl_spelling

2008-03-19T18:49:00.003-04:00

I make frequent trips to the library. As much as I love it, having free resources and unlimited take-outs of recordings (score one huge for the musician!) you also encounter a fair shair of classified "weirdos" and the "uneducated". Frankly, it makes me smile. Take for example, a conservation that inspired this post.

Two gentlemen, one in their 20's one in their 40's, sitting across from me at the computer stations.

Man 1 (20 y.o.): "Hey Paul. Psst, Paul."
Man 2 (40 y.o.): [types away with two fingers of his right hand]
Man 1: (whispers louder) PAUL!
Man 2: [staring at his keyboard as he types] "Eyah?"
Man 1: "How do you spell Tuesday?"
Man 2: [looks at me in bewilderment but tries to answer nonchalant]
"T-U-D-*-#-^" (murmurred)
Man 1: "Huh?"
Man 2: "T-U-D-E-S-D-E-Y"
Man 1: [Puzzled but doesn't doubt his trusty friend]
"What, say it again... T-E-D-U-S?"
Man 2: [reaffirms in a louder voice] "No! T-U-D-E-S-D-E-Y".

At least Man 2's consistent. For a moment there, I thought he was kidding.

me as dido

2008-02-27T16:43:00.006-05:00

I scored an article mention in the Cord Weekly. To read the article, [ GO HERE ]. Archives: Volume 48, Issue 23 Feb 28, 2008, Page 34.

ripheath

2008-02-08T00:16:00.000-05:00

you know when a bubble gets too big it's just ready to burst and you're not sure what precautions you should take when that unpredictable moment shatters your vision?

well, i've been numbed by Ledger's death and as the weeks went by my mind simply couldn't grasp it all. sure, i don't KNOW the guy personally and there's no reason why i should feel such pain if i don't really KNOW someone and fabricate ideas of what he was like or how a conversation with him would steer upon a first meeting....but his death is pretty much the conclusion of something i've dedicated my leisurely life to following. to know that this is it, and there is nothing more to be discovered (aside from the garage and gossip assumed by mindless, insensitive freaks)... there is no anticipation of looking forward, only past.

so tonight, on my last computer errands before heading home, i looked him up and read all the recent confirmations about his "accidental death". the bubble finally burst: i balled my eyes out. not a single tear could i squeeze out since his death because my stubborn heart refused to give in but tonight, i finally came to terms with it. so now that chapter is closed. i hope to never revisit tonight the way i did.

pocoyo

2008-01-27T17:44:00.000-05:00

I'm still mourning Heath's death. I have these intricate, weird and twisted dreams every night - they're worth putting into animation or song. I'll have to think about it.

BUT ON A COMPLETELY CUTE NOTE. I LOVE POCOYO! The kid in me will break through and share a moment of cuteness as I obsess about this little blue-hat dude who seems to make everything in the world THAT much better. Don't know who I'm talking about? GO YOUTUBE IT. Spainards are genius. And thank you Brits for taking it and making it English. I love the British narrator.

Radiohead is so good - Kudos to paradocs for sending me goodies. It's on repeat. Especially "Jigsaw Falling Into Place".

I'm getting rather excited for AC and Tiff as the months come crawling towards us. I also can't wait for a certain Woo to come home so we can get this party started. Word.

heath gone

2008-01-23T23:23:00.000-05:00

I simply refuse to believe that Heath Ledger is gone.
I can barely express the pain I feel, realizing his life is over.

There are few chapters in my life where I have devoted an almost-like-obsession for certain celebrities. From my early teenhood, I was crazy about Jonathan Brandis. I even went as far as creating a tag for his name and would carve that tag art where ever I would linger. And discovering much later after it happened, that he took his own life was devastating.

Then, as I matured, so did my taste for celebrities and I was mad about men in a genre (as my friends know I used to term, "the dirty mexican" - how offensive, I know but it was only in relation to the long, dirty hair look) and Heath Ledger was right there in the number one spot for me. I would have killed to meet him. He is far from my aesthetic type but it was his craft that drew me in and made me a complete fan. When I found out my brother was going to Australia for a year - just the idea of knowing that he was practically in the same country where Heath was born, and he was probably just a boat ride away from Heath's hometown, Perth, gave me a thrill.

As I flip the channels that pay tribute to the investigation of HL's death... I almost want it to stop. And it's so sad that I keep watching it. I can practically site word-for-word what all the celebrities responses: from his Dad, Kim, to Stanley Tucci, to Nicole Kidman, and Mel Gibson. I really just want it all to stop. Someone please pinch me because there's no reason why such a talented bloke had to die so young.

When Heath's life was being taken away, I was in a dental chair, high on fumes and having teeth pulled. Now I am in excruciating pain but I'm not sure what hurts more.... the swollen wounds around my mouth or the passing of dear Heath.

transitions

2007-12-16T08:18:00.001-05:00

As you get older, you start to realize how important it is to weed things out and centre in the things which are valuable to you. Your future plans, your friends, how you spend your money (perhaps you aim to but not always successful).

I took a fascinating course on Friendship, Sex, and Love - Yes, opera majors can take Philosophy courses too - and it made me evaluate the stages of my life to this current time, looking at the friends and relationships formed. A sad reality is, in five years, I may lose contact with more than half of the people I know. We may be "friends" per se, but in my opinion, it would have so little value in the grand scheme of things. If I was stuck in another country, would I fly over boarders and seas to come help you out? Those are the situations that hypothetically pop in my head to compare value.

And what about those friends who you'd give blood, sweat, and tears for - are those feelings mutual? How would you know? Growing up, from childhood days right up to university, I realize that THAT - having friendship and its worth in question from both sides of the party - was the reasoning for the friendships that don't last. So I altogether just stopped caring, stopping evaluating, stopped wondering if my friends and I had a tomorrow, or a week, or a few years down the road. But how naive is that? If you try to keep up with everyone you know, you might as well make a profession out of it because it's impossible to be/see/update everyone in your lives. There's just no time for that. Hence why it's important to start "weeding" them out.

I've shared this cruel reality with my housemate over drinks last night, and as we stirred our glasses and pondered about our life, how true it is, that we ought to "weed" - not cutting down but weeding people out because to weed out people is not to say that you're losing numbers. As life progresses, you meet and learn more people, some that may be of great value to you. So I'd say it's a healthy process and something that needs to be applied. Note: it's not saying people aren't your friends anymore but how close you become with them and facing the reality of how close you actually are with them. Hrm.... then maybe there needs to be a new label; not friends, not acquaintances, but ____________.

More on this later. I also want to vent about those who are so cretinous about their status with you - those who call you "friends" when you barely know them at all - and I mean KNOWLEDGE as simple as knowing their last name, or the context of their life outside the bubble you know them from.

songed

2007-11-22T03:05:00.000-05:00

not sure how to feel about you anymore/do i not miss the passion and longing to cry out your name?/could it be that things are settled and i have embraced a life of comfortability?/dare i leave you and taste a world that sweetens my blood so rich i can barely stand it/dare i think of entertaining thoughts to lead a life that becomes so meaningless/let my eyes never faulter/let my mouth never slander/let my head never rise before you/but only goodness of truth be the source of my being.

this will be songed

barber recital

2007-10-21T19:48:00.000-04:00

So if you didn't hear...
I'm singing in a recital THIS FRIDAY with my lovely professor Kim.
{Take a look at WLU's article}

We had a rehearsal yesterday chez accompanist, in a quaint and beautiful downtown area and it was a real hoot. There are definitely going to be some laughs and glorious moments. I will be doing a Brahms duet with Jess and a trio with Kim... then I get to showcase two pieces. Poulenc's 'Hotel' and Oscar/Hammerstein's 'Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man'. The whole program is going to be gold.

I'm sorry if you dear folks can't come... 'cause it's out of town and it's likely sold out by now, but just wanted to update you and tell you what's up with me thus far.

opera hammack?

2007-10-19T00:16:00.000-04:00

Opera Hammack?

So this year's opera I'm featured as Carmen, which is the most commonly known but no, I'm not singing the Habanera or doing the Gyspy song. In fact, my huge major role is in Rossin's opera, in the form of Isabella - a woman being stranded on an island, captured by a dozen Turks who lust for me and have to send me to their leader Mustafa 'cause he's bored with his wife. In the meantime, I have a love who's far away as I'm stuck on this island, with a man named Taddeo (played by my colleague Tavis - my lovable, adoring 'hebrew boy' as I used to term him; though he has no traces of Judaism in his family. Yes, how very Peter Griffen of me). I cannot stress how hilarious this huge scene we're performing is. It's clearly a comic opera, and we've modernized it to current day. But here's the REAL KICKER. Tavis... my dear Tavis... has to wear an Italian speedo. SCRUB FANS... think Todster in his do-hangy-thang. Yes! LIKE A BANANA HAMMACK. Unfortunately, I will not be clothed in any sort, shape, or size of a bathing suit which could constitute similar to Tavis' attire.... but wow, I tell ya. Trying to act (pissed, desperate, hopeless, angry) without letting your imagination wander as Tavis' package greets you face on is ONE HARD TASK! And to make matters worst/more interesting, he has to thrust at me every other minute in referrence to the Harems. hahaha Gosh, I'm dying of complete ridicule for Tavis. That man sure is brave. My hero.

As the weeks progress I get more and more excited. I adore my colleagues and love my director. This year's opera excerpt is one show you can't miss. For all my lovelies, I will definitely keep you posted. I'll be damned if you have to miss this one 'cause it's just too good to miss.

thecold

2007-10-12T22:50:00.000-04:00

the cold

it came so soon and swept me off
i hadn't anticipated it but i braved the 87 steps
running swiftly as the briskness got stronger,
being late. for the coffee and the friend.
when the lights changed, i was static
and there before me,
captured in my memory something that smeared itself all over my coldness.
hand in hand, arm in arm,
cheek to ear, chin to shoulder,
lip to lip, eye to eye;
a warming couple at each corner of the street.
while we all had to obey and halt for the signal
i was the only one still.
i had nothing but the bloody cold to embrace.
and as i watched for the mere seconds,
my body was frozen meanwhile wrestling the array of emotions
like a sinking, disturbingly slow vomit.
whether it was the turmoil from the cold or my reality,
thoughts of it all came back and it wasn't a quiet lonliness anymore,
but an angerment prepared to turn the throw up into words of purple.
i promised myself to never enter that place again,
but it came so soon and unexpected.

how i dread thee, cold
for you bring unwanted thoughts and solitary sufferings.

episode2

2007-10-06T20:20:00.000-04:00

Episode of stupidity #2

on a street corner, after a lunch date with andrew.
we wait for the light to change and i read a couple ads in my head.

"Hey 'drew, what's a Burma?"
"Sorry?"
"Here, it says FREE BURMA. What's a...."
{I gradually grow a huge grin.... 'drew looks at me in disbelief}
"Right, 'cause you were thinking Burmese." {sarcastic smirk}
"Woooow. Hanging out with you makes me so much smarter." {returning the sarcasm}

2007-10-01T23:17:00.000-04:00

Recent loves

PEOPLE. IF YOU'RE NOT FAMILIAR WITH OPERA, GET WITH IT.
This is a stellar show that is a MUST SEE! You don't even have to know anything about really, anything.

My new love. That Gleadow (shown above) is really something. And to think he's only flippin' 23! SHUT THE FRONT DOOR! I remember him when he was just a little boy; we sang in the TCC together. My, has time flew. Check out the COC and its listings. It's really a great show of fantastic movement, singing, and young artists.
__________

Ever heard of Mike Rowe?

Well, he's a singer too in fact... but that's not what he's famous for. You can find him on the Discovery Channel doing dirty things. Yes, and I mean DIRRRTy in a bad way. Get your mind outta the gutter.... 'cause Mike's already been *IN* there. Yes. That, and a whole lot more. Very interesting show, "Dirty Jobs". It's disgusting but I LOVE IT. Mike makes good TV. Go check it out.

GG

2007-09-29T01:05:00.000-04:00

Holy helen*, God is good!

This past month as been a tremendous blessing. Money keeps pouring everywhere, and I didn't even ask for it. It's so great to have donors and people who believe in you. I spent a good day's worth applying for scholarships today (my first time) and I feel really good about it all. I'm really humbled by all these generous donations and really feel my calling is to pursue music in the performance field.

Okay that is all for now. I'm ready to crash. Back in a flash.

*in the words of t.woo

2007-09-13T15:28:00.000-04:00

life. or so-called it.

I'm often asked "how am I?" and "how's life post-grad" thus far?
Thought I'd answer. I love it. Why? Because everything is falling into place and I'm in a stage of life where the possibilities are endless, with so many doors to choose from and the thrill of knowing that there's something planned for me. But not knowing where one would be in the next year would often frighten many, but not for I. Why? Perhaps it's because I know that whatever happens to me, it will be good. I love that I have no ties with particulars, no significant others; absolutely nothing that concretes me to where I have to be. I am only committed to Him and the music that comes with it. I'm still looking for sparks to fly with someone who believes in me and wishes to "support me" (aka some form of sugar daddy) but I'm not terribly worried for now. I have tons of gigs lined up for now till December and being a singer REALLY PAYS during the Christmas Holidays.

See you on the flip side.

birdbee and mia

2007-09-04T13:16:00.001-04:00

If I could transition to be leads of any band, hands down, I'd want to be the frontwoman of The Bird and the Bee. People. Check out their tunes sampled on myspace. It's soooo down my alley and it's really groovin'!
_______________________

SO YOU THINK YOU CAN?

If you didn't know already, I'm outwardly obsessed and crazy about this show, So You Think You Can Dance. I could spend hours on youtube just replaying everything I saw live on TV. The talent is immensely overwhelming.

LOOK HERE.

Please indulge in what I consider beautiful. I'm probably a good 1/8th of the numbers who've refreshed and viewed this video. I am so incredibly attracted to Danny (centred solo in the beginning) I can barely stand it. His movement is BEYOND comprehensive beauty - I don't care if he plays for my team or another, but I wanna take me home some of that! This is singlehandedly, THE BEST ROUTINE I've ever seen on the three years of three seasons of this show. AMAZING.

I don't even want to bother looking at season tickets around the US/CAN because I know I'm crazy enough to cancel everything just to go watch. I wish they'd cover the live concerts on DVD cause I'd be the first to buy. YES, IT'S THAT GOOD.

dats my girl!

2007-09-03T20:29:00.000-04:00

Awh, that's my lovely prof.

Check out her new improved site.

And guess what? I'm appearing in her upcoming recital! We'll be doing duets and trios with my lovely colleage Jess L and I will cover a jazz standard - still undecided what to do but you should check Kim out Oct 26th. It should be a real hoot!

radler

2007-08-30T07:51:00.000-04:00

TODAY I HAD A RADLER and it was quite possibly the best thing that's happened to me. (well, this month, or maybe this week)

I went to an authentic German restaurant and nothing could have been closer to the intense and mouth-watering meals I used to have in Stuttgart every summer. How I'd give two nuts to be there again. I didn't think I'd miss it but I briefly took a look at the FES website and the 'good' memories came rushing back. I've also been getting lovely notes from my dear German lads so that too, has made me nostalgic. Almost makes me want to hop on a plane and just go.

... but I know I cannot. SCHOOL AWAITS! AND I'M EXCITED! I'm sharing the year with my bella diva Ange and Stef. It should be amazing. We'll make it amazing. Carmen card scene and Sesto is in the works. I'm taking on the Gia so per pratica from I'Italiana In Algeri and long Werther aria at the opening of Act III. Still more to come but that's just the skinny on the current.

pictures to come.

sushi

2007-08-25T10:30:00.000-04:00

Ohhhhh, Sushi

Sushi and I definitely have a love-hate relationship.
If you haven't tried 'Wasabi' try it. It's worth it if you love fish.

kenseries9

2007-08-21T22:55:00.000-04:00

HEH?

k9. there's more if you're a fBr.
kudos mike mak for this. made my freaking day.

going through ivanita wedding pics and past grad recital stuff - i'm really sad cause i realize i'm terrible. it didn't work out and i didn't care to figure things out. i failed to even try to be artsy; i was just so busy keeping my little Evan entertained that i forgot to shoot properly. *sigh*

wedreh

2007-08-17T00:50:00.000-04:00

My role in the wedding. Stand there and heckle. J.K. I have to sing. Doing some Ingrid Michaelson (yes, the greys anatomy chick whose song was played on various eps) and Chantal Kreviazuk.

Anita's lovely ladies. I LOVE Clara's dress. I'm prone to red.

My bro's singing for Anita's walk-down. Awhhhhh.....

My favourite buddy that night - Evan. Super awesome at being ring barrier; puts flowergirls to shame.

I had great itis'd time. But I can't stop thinking about Deutschland. Good friends left tonight for the month. It's all worth it in the long run!! Can't wait till Sat! Party down and boogie!

rip RB

2007-08-16T23:14:00.000-04:00

To the man who did SO much for our community,
rest in peace Richard Bradshaw.
I hope a mezzo's singing to you in the heavens right now.

weight

2007-08-15T13:34:00.000-04:00

Holy macro.

You know when you get so busy doing things you forget to look after yourself. Let's say hygene - you don't shower as daily as you should, or you decide to skip a day from your usual daily intake of vitamins? Well after my quick singing gig in 'loo on Monday night I came back home to sleepless nights, planning and prepping things for this long-awaited wedding (THIS Saturday).

Anyway, I usually make it a habit to weigh myself once in the morning and once before bed but I forgot to do that since Sunday. Just minutes ago, I stepped on the scale to discover I loss 10 flipping pounds. WHAT??! I had to go back on it 3 times to reassure myself. WOW. I guess I've been so busy I forgot to eat but it's not like a starved myself, because I definitely ate 3 meals a day.

So then I wondered; it is possible that when the brain is so active/busy it's actually burning calories?? I swear, I haven't done any weight-liftning/cardio in the past 2 weeks. It's just been so hectic!

Oh, and my cousin from HK is here. I haven't seen her in over a decade and she has poured out unimaginable amounts of diva-goods. LIKE BLING AND CLOTHING GOODNESS! It really boggles my mind how inexpensive HK is and how much they have there! It makes PMALL look pathetic. So anyway, yes.... my bro is getting hitched and I'm more than stoked. Frankly, it already feels like they're married but this gives me an excuse to party it out on Sat. Wooot! More on that later.

episode1

2007-07-26T18:57:00.000-04:00

an erics* moment.

sometimes i wonder where my brain went.
i've decided to start episodes of my stupidity because i realize by sharing my 'shining' moments, i hope to be forgiven the first time and that it won't happen again. enjoy.

Episode 1: erics* can do math.

{At the computer counting her aeroplan points}
e: "Hey Dad!! Dad! Did you know?!!"
D: ...wakes up from nap... "eeeeyah?"
e: "I'm only 7 POINTS away from 40 thousand!!
D: ...."What's that?"
e: "My aeropoints! I almost have 40 thousand! So that's 2 tickets to North America!"
D: "How many points do you have?"
e: "I already said: I'm seven away from 40,000. So I have thirty-six thousand, nine hundred and.... {thinking}...nine-three points."
D: "Noooooo, then you go to 37,000."
e: {a moment of silence for the brain to react} HAHAHAHHahahahha....*ahem*
D: ......

gone

2007-07-19T13:40:00.000-04:00

I just wanted to share this - not sure why because it makes me more confused and saddened. But some of you know I had spent the past week with kittens trying to find them homes, delivering them to their new homes, etc. But on Sunday while I was in my old neighbourhood, I met with a beautiful woman and her two children. One who was almost 3 years and full of life, and her sister was an infant who definitely was memorable in my eyes. Being fond of mixed-children, we ended up chatting up storm and I was almost convinced that the mother would keep the Orange Tabby. She was the first person to take it but returned it the same night, hence why I took the two cats to my apartment.

Today, my friend just sent me a link.
I almost fell out of my seat.
I have so many ideas and thoughts I cannot post here but I am just.... in complete shock.
________

*So the mother has been charged with first degree murder. Wow. Just like that. Life changes.

kat

2007-07-15T22:28:00.000-04:00

I have a kitty now!!

Of course, I'd love for it to be permanent (and it very well could be) but I think my mother would kill me. Right, ma? 6 week old cat from a farm in Guelph. Totally up for grabs and free. If you're interested PLEASE COMMENT ME.

Oh and I'm wondering what to call it while I have it at hand in my appartment. It's a boy. Any ideas?

MOMENTS LATEr. and just like that. I have two in my hands. AIYAH.

PLEASE, DOES ANYONE WANT THEM??? They have no home. I can't keep them cause I'm getting allergic and I don't have a place for them.

germ

2007-07-14T23:12:00.000-04:00

I grew sad today because it dawned me what I left behind.Deutschland
I was angry when I left a country I first fell in love with because I was simply misunderstood. I didn't give it my all; and I was only left with bitterness.
I hate reminiscing. It's quite possibly the most destructive to my emotions.
I do realize how important it was for me to stay but I look at the names of all those I loved and grew close with and I can't help but feel misplaced. I know it's for the better and I may have finished my journey with a time not so sweet but you just can't help remembering the things you love. Even if it does you no good. Why do I hold onto the things that make me weak? Chapter closed. Time to move on.
_____________

I know I'm in good hands and there is a path for me to take, but when you don't know after 8 months where that path will take you, it's quite frightening. In a sense, I'm grateful for what I've become, what I am. The independance in life has taught me many things and I am no longer attached to anything that has the ability to keep me places. So I am virtually like a loose feather with no commitments that can be blown anywhere and will rest wherever need be. Until someone picks me up again....

tooLAH

2007-07-09T18:22:00.000-04:00

Dinner @ Habourfront's Toula

A bunch of us (okay, more like MANY of us) went to Toula last night for Summerlicious dinner. It was nice to gather three generations (okay, that sounds old, more like three cycles) for the din din. Sadly, the food was not the highlight of my dinner experience but rather the people, and maybe a little bit of Frankie Muniz. (If you know who he is, you're good.) But I didn't care to disturb his dinner (and you know I would if I really cared to) but I was afraid of running away after staring into his eyes. (Have you SEEN those things? they could kill!)

The group shot is deceiving because there are a LOT more who attended but I like this photo for it's colours, organization, and clarity. But major kudos to Tbone for getting us all together for the idea of Summerlicious.

The three course $46 meal. *still rolling my eyes*

The Venetian Cesar Salate. Croutons were great.

Mashed potatoes were to perfection, but presentation needs work! (I know, it's my fault for not capturing it at a good angle.)

A definite winning dessert. I give it a 9.8/10. But the whole meal itself = 6.8/10. You're basically paying for the wonderful view.

winner

2007-07-08T15:47:00.000-04:00

I felt like a winner but now I AM a winner!!!

regard ici.

2007-06-29T18:13:00.000-04:00

Yes this is my 'right back'.

L-R: Backhair behaving well; With K about to go on stage; waiting in the deck for the tenor to finish before it's my turn to strut my stuff.

I came back feeling uber fantastic. Not because I felt like I had won the competition or even the favour of the audience but because I had accomplished what I had been working on for the past few months. ANnnnnnnnnnd the fact that I could have beer. Yes, that was a SUPER plus. But I waited till I got back home to caress the beautiful Rickards Red.

So God's been good to me. He continually provides and I don't ask for any of it. The competition used to be about finding ways to get back the money I spent on this competition - it's in the thousands I tell ya! - but as the months progressed I realize it's not about the money at all. This is an experience. Rich people can't buy accomplishments like this. Attractive people can't seduce others into giving them the fulfillment I received the moment I walked off that stage in Quebec. I felt I had done the best I could. I know I can do better but I'm not about to rant to you about the what-ifs and the could-have-beens.

In all honesty, I thought that was it. Didn't think I'd need to go back for the result show thinking I wouldn't be awarded anything. But sure enough, just yesterday I received a call from the ever so charming general director, who invited me to sing at the Gala with the Sherbrooke Orchestra. DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS? Patrons, Sponsors, High-paying public, are going to watch me do my thang in one aria/song. Amazing. To me, that beats the icing on the cake. Even if I didn't place first along with the huge BMO scholarship - it doesn't matter. I'm happy to wear my gown and do what I love doing most. Sing.

Props to my accompanist K. I surely couldn't have done it without him! He's the winning prize!

beforeQC

2007-06-20T23:24:00.000-04:00

In the words of someone n00bular,
"TIME TO BE A WINNER".
oh yeeeeeeeeaaaaaaa.

Off to Quebec in hours.
Am I ready? No.
But can I do this? Yes.
S'all Him, s'all Him.

Post ya right back as soon as I return.
Won't be gone long.

convo

2007-06-16T18:01:00.000-04:00

Right, I almost forgot to mention. I graduated.

<--- Me with Hedrich - the best damn percussion player in my graduating class. I had the priledge of sitting next to Glenn and Hedrich, so we were cracking jokes left, right and centre. During the ceremony, I met eyes with the same photographer who tried to shoot me before* and he kept triggered like mad while I made various faces.

*It was in February, I was singing/performing in Master class and some dude/photographer came unannounced to take pictures. Clearly, it was for school and likely for website purposes. He was there for most of the hour, and we all knew what he was there for. But when it was my turn to go up and sing, being the diva I am, I raised my hand infront of his lens. "I'm sorry, but no," I forwardly state. "No?" in a tone as if he couldn't believe a student WOULDN'T want their photo taken. "Yeah.. uh, no. You see, I'm having a bad eye-lid day." Everyone bursts out laughing thinking I'm kidding. BUT I WASN't! I had a 2-fold in one eye (which is fine) but a 3-becoming-4-fold in the right eye. YES, IT'S POSSIBLE.

thebutton

2007-06-13T20:53:00.000-04:00

the button

everyday she passes
she's threatened to observe its presence
as she stares
she catches her imagination go wild
and she forgets what it was to begin with
inflation of reality and an almost thrilling temption
but she told herself she would not push it.
she agreed that curiousity was best in raw state.

days go by
and she still ponders about it
whether its changed or if someone else as decided to push it
she checks to see if someone else fell for it
but it still remains what it is, what it was
as if it only exists to her.

so she drew near
and came close to push it
but in that split second she was mere centimeters from it,
the wind blew her aside and his chill rushed through her.
"Maybe," she thought, "that was what it was there for."

Alas it was not a button to be pushed
but a reminder of what she stood for
and what its meant to just know, not feel.

2007-05-17T18:14:00.000-04:00

YEAH BABY!! You're looking at a NATIONAL FINALIST!! I'm representing Ontario!

Confused?
Well, I fessed up a lot of dough and went all in for this canadian music competition (CMC). My best got me through two rounds and now I'm due for Quebec to strut my stuff one last time.

God is SOOOO GOOD.
Sometimes I wonder WHY He is, particularly to me. I have brain farts all the time on stage and I catch myself in tangents with my mental thoughts - but the instrument still works and the words come out like diarrhea. It's amazing. I never thought I'd say that out-loud. Diarrhea is amazing...??

outblush

2007-05-14T11:03:00.000-04:00

Found a lovely shopping blog for women.
If I had money, I would splurge but I can't bring my senses to purchasing some of their shop findings.

For example.

Would you pay more (potentially double than usual for)to take our your trash, (yes, that entire 14 seconds it takes for you to walk across your front yard) in style?

Ha.. I know I'm going to contradict myself. The next cocktail party I hold, you'll probably see these exact bags presenting my waste.
__________

Something I TOTALLY love for my dear friends who struggle with chopsticks:

where

2007-05-08T10:50:00.000-04:00

I don't get it.

Filipinos can sing
to the point of extreme talent and amazing melismatic ability,
And Japanese can sing,
with their jazz groove and surprising and excelled range of genres
from metal to rap to alternative rock,
but Chinese....
it doesn't even come close.
Hence the one-genre based of canto and mando pop.
Where are all the Chinese, talented, praise-worthy singers?
Hook me up with names because I think it's sad.
And by good singers, I don't mean "Awh, what a pretty voice" ordeal,
I'm talking skill, agility, tone, and colour.
GROOVE IT.
MAKE IT FUNK.

mybabel

2007-04-25T02:38:00.000-04:00

I just finished watching Babel and the hollowness I failed to recognize returned. As I was stripped of all masks, I too... began to babel. But these words do not babel. They speak my silence. It was the last scene that compelled the spoken heart.
I highly recommend you to watch it. Rent it. It will ruin you. And I mean that in the best way possible.

the heart lies flat
and it begs to be stomped on
just so it could beat again
but those who watch it in shame
choose to leave it flat

i begged for it to go away
but it lingers towards
the innermost core
right where the last tear was saved
the afternoon i shoned your face
and you let me walk away

how i torment the last
that may forever be our last
say nothing when asked
and let it eat away

the book will never close
the strings will never fade
nor will the slightest glance be able to change
what's there
that's left of you.

how do i let it pass
no hands left to grasp
but silent eyes just wanting that moment to last.

currentstress

2007-04-23T19:44:00.000-04:00

WOoot. NO MORE RECITALS!

Sah sah was the last diva to take the stage last night. I'm so glad it's finished! Now I can go back to regular hours and do things on my own time!
_____

On a side note.
Things that are stressing me out.
I have a HUGE competition THIS SUNDAY (held in London). I'm freaking out because I chose some challenging works to display my singing skill. I don't know what to wear, I don't have my things memorized, and I have a feeling I've got stiff competition this year. Ahhhh.

_____

Another side note.
I'm not sure if I'm eligible for that 10,000 scholarship I'm suppose to apply for by May 1st. The dean's being REALLY unsupportive and I'm not sure how things will pan out but we'll see. I was a little relieved that I didn't have to apply at first, because I don't have a recording I'm entirely thrilled with and don't really have the time to record something by May 1st. AHH SO LITTLE TIME LEFT.

Okay. Time to get off.
I have an exam in less than 24 hours.
AHHHHH.

2007-04-22T16:20:00.000-04:00

This is my Frenchhorner Ashley and her post-recital!

Left: Beth/Ash/Erics*
Right: Beth/Erics* trying to be like Maureen, aka "mofo".

transformation

2007-04-20T15:39:00.000-04:00

Ever wonder what you'd look like if you were a different race?

I've always questioned it growing up because my vocal abilities are not from chinese decent. I got soul from da chocolate hood. I tell ya, there's a big african woman inside me when I get fired up or sing. Yes, excuse the stereotype but my life is a testiment to how true that is.

Anyway, so I got tranformed.
Here's the order:
L-R: Erics* as East-Asian (obviously no edits); Caucasian; West-Asian; BOOTILICIOUS CARRIBEAN BLACK. hahaha

mday

2007-04-16T00:53:00.000-04:00

I love my diva gals.
I have so many images to share but I'll narrow it down to two.

This was from silly chats and laughs chez alberts.
We took a billion pictures but this one describes the night.
I was dolled up (using beth's curling iron for the first time; amazing product by Chi); Beth was cracking jokes left right and centre during the Huether dinner and later making hilarious faces; Sarah was tired yet relaxed from a day of studying/preping for her upcoming grad recital.

These gals are one of a kind!

And how could I forget my Angela (in white jacket). She and I will take over WLU Opera next year! Woo hoo! She seduces well but also plays awesome pant-roles.

forgottenme

2007-04-15T08:03:00.000-04:00

Sadly, she forgot her day.

Tackling down the pretentious,
wishing for the near to draw nearer,
she failed to notice the contagious good that surrounded her.

Blinded with angst,
she developed an understanding that her fate was near
and she continued to alleviate the happiness with doubt.

But why did she choose that route;
to self destruct the mental capacities
and let the inner core boil to a rising point?
Who would allow such demeanor and suffer the same pains?
Perhaps it is all she knows,
perhaps is it what she does best,
but to rekindle her past is what she fears
because there is no forward,
there is no end,
it only just begins all over again.
___________________________

Surely age has aged me.
I forgot today is my birthday.
I actually forgot.
There is no self worth in today.
I simply forgot.

But it was my mother who bore me on this day,
which signifies her triumph on the 15th of April,
and makes her own birthday more unique,
to share her birthdate with her child.

gradpics

2007-04-11T03:33:00.000-04:00

I owe Mak a LOT for these wonderful shots.
If it weren't for him, I'd have no evidence, nothing to print to prove my recital.

Take a look.

I love this shot but it's too bad the slide-showing is of the one I liked least. I sung of 7 painters which were interpretated in poetry by Eluard and later written as a song cycle by the clever Francis Poulenc. This was the work of JUAN MIRO - the painter I despised the most. I went through books and book of his work and hated them all. The painting I picked to display during the song was the most accurate to the poetry. I should have shown something else... that was the only slide that make me cringe.

This is the work of PAUL KLEE. He's a brilliant man of brilliant taste. I really liked going through his portfolio. There were so many to choose from.

I had just finish singing my favourite selection of the evening, the Spanish set of 5 songs by Montsalvatge. SUCCESS!

Mmmm... spicy!

THANKS AGAIN MIKE!!

jewelry

2007-03-30T17:46:00.000-04:00

Jewelry always gets me excited.

All products from The Embellished Room.
For more images of my jewelry, go here.

calmthy

2007-03-27T23:33:00.000-04:00

I NEED TO CALM MYSELF.

I almost felt my heart give up on me.
It was NOT cool.

Just remember... everything is trivial. Nothing in this world matters. Don't sweat the small stuff!

grad recital is really stressing me out.
my voice is giving up on me...
and i am constantly counting down the time.
*breathe* *breathe*

nogame

2007-03-22T15:02:00.000-04:00

I so deserved it.
The minute I stopped relying on Him.
I lost the best of what could have been of me.
So where do you pick up from here?
How can He forgive you for the things you did not do?
Where do we go from here?

singtube

2007-03-20T15:02:00.000-04:00

The many perspectives of the scientist

James and I covered tunes last night.
St. Paddy's was still running a big party in my throat; so it was more fun for him than I. How I regret all that Spur Karaoke Singing over the weekend.

As usual, the James Posse Supporters came out to watch and they so conveniently free-hand recorded the performances we did. Definitely was fun and I hope to do it again; people don't judge you as harshly at Wilf's (especially when you're early) as they do in Jazz clubs. That's always a plus.

The "Scientist" was definitely my favourite of the 4 songs James and I covered. I'd love to refine it more and take it into the studio sometime.

((Here's n00bular's version)) *best sound quality of the three*

((Here's paradoc's (aka KY-ruckus) version))

((Here's daydreamsun's version))

I dedicated this Frente song to my special, other-loud-half who's on the either side of the pond.

((BIZARRE LOVE TRIANGLE - Captured by Paradox))

fesnigel

2007-03-15T22:22:00.000-04:00

He hugged me and I almost cried.

I should be working on my paper but I'll post a quick note before I forget teh sensations felt today.

Nigel (love-him) Shore embraced me with the biggest yet quickest hug this afternoon and all sensation in me rushed through and eventually I went numb. It finally occured to me that this was likely the last time I'd ever see the familar faces of Stuttgart, Germany with FES. And this year was an exceptional panel - definitely THE best possibility of persons in the past five years. (But of course, no one does it like good ole Nick Cohu.)

I almost had a heart attack when I saw the the double-bass prof I used to jam jazz tunes in the late hours in Germany. And then to see Birgit's sunshine ray of light, and Janku actually smiling again. Oh man... I hated my experience last year but the memories that brought me to joyous tears and nostalgia was seen through these beautiful Germans I was reunited with for those mere minutes. It may have been a high that ended very low for me, but I have a lot of thank for the life I had in Germany.

For one thing, the loves made. I fell in love with so many contagiously awesome people. And another major influence - my fashion sense and the efforts improved to look after myself and dress better than I did pre-Germany (bahaha. I laugh now but I definitely am thankful I am more put together than before.) And of course, learning to appreciate things like BEER, WINE, and BEER. I can't believe I used to scoff at bier. OH! and HOW CAN I FORGET THE LOVE FORMED FOR RITTER SPORT!! *melting* God bless Alfred Ritter!

Well, that is all. I hope my school peeps represent but then again, it would suck to come back to school and half the faculty is gone because you know they're out having a stellar time partying it up in Stuttgart. Alas, it is goodbye to choral work for me. Hello Opera World! Still waiting for results.......

openmic

2007-03-11T23:48:00.000-04:00

OPEN REQUEST

If you didn't hear already, I'm singing with guitar
sensation, James for open mic at Wilf's. Likely, I will have these raw
live performances recorded so I was wondering what tunes you'd like to
hear covered on vocals/acoustic guitar.

My options so far:
1. Bizarre Love Triangle - Frente
2. Put Your Records On - Corrinne Bailey Rae
3. The Scientist - Coldplay

I've got one week to learn covers so shoot them my way and I'll take 'em into consideration.

grad

2007-02-27T20:58:00.000-05:00

BOOYAH.
It's posted! It's official!
Now I have to do it.

For those who care to be entertained by me.
Book APRIL 5th 8PM. It's my last bow as an undergrad.

retreat

2007-02-18T17:25:00.000-05:00

Just came back from a weekend retreat.

And it was ALL good. Not a lot learned but it was a good weekend to be broken before Him. Before we left for home, the grads got a shot together. Love them all, really. The dudes: Ingle, (h)Euge, Nghai, Chowster, Gaire, P. The dudettes: tracy, and share. kudos to eunice for taking this image

Head on over to my PHOTOBLOG for all group shots I took.
Including my favourite picture: HANDS DOWN, MY FAVOURITE GROUP SHOT OF ALL THE ONES I TOOK: The Committee. Just look at those faces. Nghai will always be nghailarious; P's actually smiling; and I want to make a cookie out of Jon and Dan.

perplex

2007-02-12T19:49:00.000-05:00

perplexed with feelings

Is it odd that I frankly fancy no one?
I remember the days of youth where it would be the motivation to wake up every morning; you'd dress to impress; you'd get fluttered when it came by you; you'd sketch the name in your textbooks; you'd share similar rushes with other girl friends; you'd write poetry. Ahhh.. the days when words would paint your feelings of love and desire.

i miss that.

But I sit here and am perplexed because I'm so remote from everyone. Not in the sense that I have no one. I am surrounded by laughter and friends who make me feel warm. But I speak of that feeling that makes you gush and do ridiculous things because you fall hard for it. Hrm... I can't say I've had that in a looong time. And it baffles me because I thought I was a person of emotions. Having men in my life drove me further to do things; be things;... have feeling.

So is this the peak of maturity? Or do guys I encounter just do nothing for me? Are they just too brotherly for me? As if I have high standards and never settle anything less than my ideal, because I find myself to be one of the most forgiving. If there's one quality I can grasp and love about you; that's it. That will reel me in. Some days I think I'm too kind.

And then there are the guys who I don't call brothers who (I'm not very close with and) read all the wrong signals. Simply said: If I'm into you, you will know because I told you. No mind games. So unless I told you I dig you, assume the friendship is pure and of good intentions. Granted, it's not so black and white because the line gets crossed and feelings grow unexpectedly... but I don't want to mess around with anyone's heads. I just want company; a friend. Is it a crime to ask someone out for dinner? Is it assumed they want something more in the relations with a dinner date? Geez. Our society is so complex. Who set the idioms anyway?

The Scientist - Natasha Bedingfield

2007-02-11T02:07:00.001-05:00

I promise, one way or another... I will cover this with just acoustic guitar and voice. This version completely inspired me.

Perhaps an open-mic nite opportunity with James.